December 20, 2011

Dear Babies,

You’ll hear of people who are up and at ’em at 7:30 a.m. and wonder, who the hell are these people? What at the hell are they doing up and out so early? And how?

And then you’ll find yourself one morning, up and at ’em so early, saying “dammit! Why isn’t the Gap open?!” And then you’ll get a hold of yourself and say, oh, it’s 8:30 a.m.

I think you’re morning nap has dropped, you guys. That means from 7:00 a.m. to 1:00-ish it’s party time. It’s I’m the camp counselor time. The entertainer. The singer. The dancer. The comedian. The chef. The animated storyteller. The master puppeteer (no actually, sorry, I don’t do puppets, they’re weird). It’s oh-my-god-we-are-going-to-go-bananas-in-this-house-all-day time. It’s have toddler twins, will travel.

Seriously, why the hell isn’t the Gap open.



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