April 2, 2012

Dear Babies,

The daffodils are up and they are everywhere, standing silly and proud.

I love them for this, and picture myself as a little girl wanting to go up to them and drink from their little buttercups as I’d seen on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the good one, not the weird one with Johnny Depp). I still do.

They also remind me of another movie, Big Fish, a movie that makes me, and I find most girls, hold their hearts and say aw They’re the character Sandra’s favorite flowers, and when courting her a young Edward plants a whole field of them right outside her bedroom window…

There’s a classic scene in the film when the two meet for the first time at a circus. They say when you meet the love of your life time stops, narrates an older Edward, as he makes his way through the frozen room to get to Sandra, crawling through hula hoops and dodging popcorn kernels suspended in the air.

It’s a great scene. So good it’s in the trailer to the movie with the song “I’ve Seen All Good People” by Yes playing in the background.

(I pull up to garbage cans at Dunkin Donuts drive thrus and start talking into them to order like one of the Lubbock babes from the show “Just the Ten of Us”–look it up–yet, I remember this.)

Today we were having lunch at Applebee’s when that song came on. Immediately, I thought of the movie. I looked around the table, at you guys with your mouths full of grilled cheese and cheeseburgers (ah, the beauty of twins, no guilt over ordering two things in hopes that one of the meals will work). Nanny and Grumpah were there. I said to them “can you watch for a minute?” as I rose to go the bathroom. Before I pressed through the women’s restroom door, I stopped and looked back at the table. The world around me was frozen. Everyone was smiling, laughing. We’d just had a great morning at the petting zoo where you said “baa” to sheep and pointed at monkeys and had big conversations with llamas with funky underbit teeth. And the birds, oh the birds! One landed on your head, Baby Boy! What a morning, and none of it had been planned, I was still in the gym clothes I’d thrown on seven a.m., no shower, Nanny and Grumpah meet us at the zoo in a flash…

I thought of your father, how I often do when I look at you guys. This weekend he was telling me the way so many people he knows talk about their husbands and wives. It was Friday night and we were having wine on the couch at around 9:30 p.m. “It’s like,” he paused, “they hate them…” Then he looked at me, and it was the way he looked at me, “the only thing I hate is having to be away from you…”

Beauty is everywhere, babies. Even at Applebee’s.

Love is everywhere, too.

How long was I frozen with my hand poised on the wooden bathroom door like that? Who knows, who cares. Sometimes you must stop time and look.



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