Wednesday, January 9, 2013: Strong, Like Pink

Dear Babies,

I had a dream last night that an agent I queried who follows me sent me a message via twitter (a sentence that if read to child-me would have made me ask  1.) what is this peculiar language of the future? and 2.) Followers? Oh crap, do I join a cult?). “This warrants a visit to my office!” the tweet in my dream said, and I wrote her back, “why, am I in trouble?” with an emoticon “wink.” And she winked back me and we began a beautiful professional relationship, literary agent and writer walking off contract-in-contract, er, hand-in-hand…

I woke up with a feeling, a premonition, that something was going to happen for me if not today, then soon.

I never dreamed it would be a rejection.

“Dammit!” I said when the sincerely gracious email came in this morning. The better luck next time. I played my little game of Tetris updating my excel query-tracking sheet, move this one from maybe, to no, and that was it. There was a time when I would’ve been crushed–for at least seven minutes. I would’ve pouted a little. Maybe been angry. Petty. Bratty. Felt something. But today I said, okay. I tossed the rejection off with a shrug.

In the car later I had the radio on. How you never realize what you have until it’s missing? I miss you, Sirius radio, sorely.

Every song on the radio sounds like this “eeeeeee!” and is sung by Pink.

pink (not the color)

Or someone who sounds like Pink.

There must be a lot of people out there who sound like Pink.

That must be the trend today, sound like Pink.

I flipped to Hot 97 (hand me my 14k gold Amy name-plate, please!). It took me a few minutes to realize that the noise I heard was not something wrong with the car but actual music.

I turned the radio off and we drove in silence, alone with you and my thoughts.

Maybe this feeling I have about 2013 is the feeling of growing thick skin. The feeling of taking knocks and getting back up. The feeling of experience. The feelings that come with getting old.

Love,

Mom

 

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