Tuesday, February 19, 2013: How To Be Just Like Beyonce and Jay-Z

Dear Babies,

“We’re just like Beyonce and Jay-Z,” I said, placing the remote I had just pointed at the TV to turn it off down on the coffee table.

Your father snorted. Or was it a grunt. A deep, coming out of sleep guttural sound as he heaved onto his elbows, coming back into the world after a two hour slumber–or however long was “Life Is a But a Dream,” the HBO documentary I’d been watching by, for and about Beyonce. He looked at the blank television. Looked at me standing above him. “Why, does Jay-Z snore on the couch, too?”

I didn’t explain what I meant by the comparison, rather said “come on” and took his hand and together we walked up to bed. It was ten o’clock at night. Late. 

I continued to make Beyonce and Jay-Z references throughout the weekend.

“Does Jay-Z throw a dry cleaning bag too big for the garbage can in his bathroom, stuffing it in there so we are unable to throw anything else out in it because it won’t fit, not even a tissue?”

“Does Jay-Z ask Beyonce to please stop dancing?” (After your father kindly asked me to please stop dancing, as if the sight was paining him so.)

“Coldplay! {turning the volume up in the car} There was a scene in the documentary when they show Beyonce and Jay-Z having dinner somewhere on the water, somewhere maybe on their yacht, somewhere maybe like the Amalfi coast or it looked like Cinque Terre or somewhere,” trying to casually slip in being someone who casually slips in “it looks Cinque Terre,” like I go there all the time. “They turned to each other and sang the refrain to ‘Yellow.’ When the song repeats ‘You know I love you so’ Jay,” because by this point we were on a first name basis, “Jay said, you know, in his voice,” prompting a terrible Jay-Z impression, all warbled, “one more time, ‘you know I love you so. . .'” It looked like your father was going to punch me in the face, and I mean that in the best possible way.

It wasn’t until later, though, on the way to church Sunday morning, when your father finally had enough of my personal joke. I asked him if he had any small bills, and got such a fit of laughter at myself saying “what are we, ballers? Dropping twenties in the collection? What are we, Beyonce and Jay-Z?” (A-HAHAHAHA-HAR, HAR, HAR!) that your father finally told me it was over.

“You always do this! You kill your own joke! You said it too much and now it’s done. Okay? It’s done. It’s not even funny. I don’t even get it.”

I couldn’t explain to him at the time what I meant by all of my references because I was still hysterically laughing. (See? Life isn’t so bad; if you can laugh at yourself you’ll always have one fan.)

But later, at dinner, I saw an opportunity and took it…

“I feel like you would like the crispy chicken, or that special with the lamb…”

I went on to tell him how we are like an old married couple, me telling him what he should order.

I told him how on the documentary you could tell what a real couple Beyonce and Jay-Z are.

I told him how I saw footage of a toast she was making him, how she got all choked up talking about how she feels about him, how she thanks god for him everyday.

I did’t tell him how she talked about the pain of experiencing a miscarriage. How she wrote a song with the lyrics “This love wasn’t enough for us to survive I swear, I swear, I swear I tried.” I didn’t him how the words “she tried” struck such a cord with me, showing me how she blamed herself, as I, we, people, women, humans so often do, blaming ourselves for circumstances beyond our control…

We were at dinner, having fun, and I wanted to keep things light. So I summed how they seem like a really great couple. They’re like soul mates. They’re really in love. They really love their family. They really love their baby.

I told him how they seem really…human.

“Then yeah,” your dad said taking my hand across the table, “we’re just like them.” And he ordered the special with the lamb.

jay-z-beyonce Enquirer photo

Love,

Mom

2 thoughts on “Tuesday, February 19, 2013: How To Be Just Like Beyonce and Jay-Z

  1. Anne Schenendorf says:

    So so sweet Amy. This made me choke up reading… This is why I have always loved them too. Depite the difference that my shoes are from Target and hers Prada, you know she has walked that walk. They are so cute together- as are you two. Plus, who doesn’t love their music. 🙂 xo

    • amydenby says:

      Great line about the shoes and walking the walk 🙂 I was always a fan, maybe the documentary caught me at an exceptionally sappy moment (or in a moment of weakness due to chronic sleep deprivation), but it really made me admire them and their character. And yes, a little h to the hizzo doesn’t

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