Wednesday, April 17, 2013: The Rules are the Rules (Don’t be an A-Hole).

Dear Babies,

I just got kicked out of the library, escorted to the door and it locked behind me, which is kind of embarrassing, but kind of awesome (which is what you can say about a lot of things in life).

I thought, oh, it’s such a beautiful day out, that’s why no one is in the parking lot! I was so proud to get the front third spot!

At the entrance the automatic door didn’t open. I stood a few seconds directly in front of it. Nothing. Waved my arms. Nothing. I ran back and forth doing a little jig (yes), nothing.

The door must be broken, I concluded. So I walked to it and  squeezed my fingers into the crack and pressed, pressed, pressed to pry it open. Viole! I was in.

Inside it was quiet, but hello, it is a library.

There was no one at the front desk, but I thought maybe they just all had gotten up for a cup of tea or something, maybe they all had to go to the bathroom, even librarians must have to pee (all that tea).

Up the steps, wow, I had my choice of seats! There were no senior citizens there. No Peter O’Toole look-alikes passed out facing the sun, snoring in chairs. There were no faint cries of children from downstairs. Even the woman from the information desk wasn’t there (perhaps she, too, had a lot of tea?).

Just when I was beginning to feel like the last human in a postapocalyptic horror movie, a nerdy book lover in “The Stand,” a tall old man entered to stock the newspapers. His pants were pulled up to here {high}. He looked at me standing there in my disheveled gym clothes with my laptop bag dangling from my hand like a briefcase and my purple beaded backpack over my shoulders, and he hmphed and chuckled.

Hmph. Chuckle. 

But even then, after being hmphed and chuckled at my by an old man, none of this phased me.

I took a seat at the middle table, the best seat in the house, whoo-hoo!, and I opened my laptop ready to write. The clock said 10:02. I have an hour to work while Nanny watches them, let the clock begin…

“Excuse me?” A trepid voice from behind me interrupted my thoughts. She looked horrified to see me. “The library is closed.

I blinked.


“Ooooh! HA! I just thought the door was broken so I came right in! Oh how funny! Oh wow, you guys are closed, huh? Really?? Why??”

“The staff has meetings,” very curt.

“Oh wow, really?? Was there like, a sign? What time do you open?”


“Eleven! Wow! That’s so late! Wow, what time is it now it’s like, ten? It’s ten. You open at eleven. Okay wow, yeah, I just totally walked in.”


“Wow. Okay! Can I just, you know let me just, I’ll just finish this email here…” and I actually finished writing an email to an editor while this stern-looking librarian stood over me with her arms folded across her chest. “Okay! All set. Let me just gather up my stuff here–up, can’t forget my pen! Okay, all set.”

I scooped everything into my backpack, even my laptop, like it was junk, and slung it over my shoulder like a hobo riding the rails. I walked back down the steps and felt awkward with her following me.

“Have a good one!” I called back as I cross over the threshold out into the sun. She said nothing. Behind me I heard a pronounced click. I turned to see her checking the door to make sure it was locked and secure.

To the her right was a sign with the library hours, clear as day: Wednesday: 11:00 a.m.

“Ooooh…” and I walked off to my car in that good spot, like a total a-hole.


It’s good to be bold, babies. To question things. To be curious, sure.

But do this…with respect for basic authority. Don’t force your agenda on others. Don’t break into the library.

But I have a sitter and I’m ready to work now. Well too bad, we’re closed!

As much as it stinks sometimes, remember, the rules are the rules.



6 thoughts on “Wednesday, April 17, 2013: The Rules are the Rules (Don’t be an A-Hole).

  1. Lisa says:

    This was hysterical! I live in Port and it drives me crazy that the library opens late on Wednesdays! I’ve gone multiple times and seen the parking lot empty and thought, “wow, that’s weird” but still walked UP TO THE FRONT DOOR. I feel for you, you aren’t alone!! Love your blog, especially being from Port too you are right on!

    • amydenby says:

      Ha! This is great, Lisa! I’m so glad I’m not the only one! Now the library is really going to hate me telling the world how easy it is to break in 😉 Nice to “meet” you and hope to see you around sometime! If you ever recognize a total banana chasing two kids around come say hi! Thanks for reading x

  2. Jackie Kepke says:

    I was flipping through The Port News today and I noticed your byline. Great article on Port’s newest author. I like that I can read you online and now in print!

      • Jackie Kepke says:

        I loved that she’s also a city-transplant who feels like if you have to move out of the city, Port is the best place to live. I was also amused by how the PW Diner was a major selling point for her! Hoping to get to her event, but not sure I’ll be back in town in time. Hopefully, I’ll make the next one 🙂

      • amydenby says:

        I loved that about the diner, too, especially because I know the other one in the city, The City Diner, and was so excited to learn the same thing when I moved here, as well! It all comes down to food, doesn’t it 😉

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