Wednesday, May 8, 2013: Blame it on the Train.

Dear Babies, 

Your dad asked me to drive him to the train this morning, and I was miserable. He was running late and we would have to hustle, and I don’t hop out of bed well. 

I contemplated asking, wait, can I just grind my fresh coffee and make a cup with vanilla almond milk to go? But even I am aware of my ridiculousness, sometimes. 

I threw on my slippers. “Come on, let’s go…”

On the drive back I noticed the two large train parking lots were already full–at 7:11 a.m. How early did these people get here? How did they do it? I need my coffee. Wah.

Further down the block, I saw the third additional lot was filling up, as well. 

A line had formed filing out of it of people walking from the lot toward the station. It was raining, so everyone was hidden under umbrellas–some quite massive. City gear. I remember having to dress for the elements. Now, rain boots, on the short run from the car inside? Or how about just not go out in the rain in the first place?

The line was marching, slim silhouettes in rain coats bobbing with their umbrellas, reminding me of Macbeth’s marching trees. 

March. March. March. March.

It was really raining. Wind and water were splattering on these people’s faces. 

March. March. March. March.

It was early. Wet and cold.


Everyone looked on a mission. 

Everyone looked…miserable. 

…I often think of the Steve Jobs commencement speech he gave to Stanford University in 2005. 

–“You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”–

I read those words, and I hear his crisp voice saying them…then I picture those people heading to work. And I think of how many not wanting to, but doing so because they have to, to support their families, to support themselves. 

I love the idea of what Steve Jobs is saying. And, I believe it is true. 

But I also think it’s hard. 

(Especially for working mothers.)

Do what you love and the money will follow. Yeah, but, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. 

The Dealmaker, by Alex



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