Passive aggressive yoga teacher was on a roll today.
It doesn’t matter if you’re speaking in a tone that insinuates you’ve been administering a slow morphine drip since Monday, if the words you’re saying are this:
There are TWO ways to practice yoga: FLOPPING through poses and getting NOTHING out of them, OR, igniting the FLAME within. In other words, there are ways to do things, jackholes: The wrong way, or the right way. Are you going to be a lazy ass and just coast your way through my class, or, are you here to actually work? Ommmm.
Let me clarify that this is a beginner class, designed to rehabilitate senior citizens. It’s the Golden Girls, the Quaker Oats guy, the cast of “Cocoon,” and me. I go there to sleep, I mean, stretch. At one point passive aggressive teacher said use your bicep as a pillow, but I had already been using a folded blanket under my head, so I actually had a pillow. And, Fred did tree pose without the wall, and everybody clapped. Today was a big day all around.
When class was over, passive aggressive teacher said acknowledge yourself and your practice.
Coming to, as I tend to be a little cranky when I first wake up (pillow), I contemplated this…
Acknowledge yourself, and how you talk to people, floated through my mind.
Not just your words but your tone, babies. So much is often said without saying any words…
Perhaps this thought came as “don’t shout!” is the going phrase around the house these days. I shout, “DON’T SHOUT!”
On our hustle up the hill to camp this morning (since I park around back, terrified of the shark tank I mean the mini van swarmed drop-off lot) I held hands with you, Baby Girl, and stopped to call back to your brother.
“COME ON!” I hollered.
“Mama, DON’T SHOUT!” you shouted.
…Yes, acknowledgment is a good thing for us all.