Your dad’s away so I had the night to myself, and, good, I told myself. I’ll get stuff done. Good, good!
I’ll put away stuff! (what does that even mean?)
I’ll do my fall decorating! (in case you didn’t find me annoying already, there you go)
And writing-wise I’m all inspired again. I have all of these ideas and a plan–I found a plan!–a vision and I’m going for it! I’ll do it! I’ll start with my laptop and get on it, tonight!
And then I sat on the couch and opened my laptop, and got lost in a minefield. I clicked on this story. And that. Tempted by the fruit of another, as the song goes. Oh. And oh. Vanessa Lachey just celebrated son Camden’s first birthday! Oh! Hey! This agent might be a good fit for me! Let me check my records! Wait, she already rejected me? Oh.
So, oh, I ended up sitting and watching “The Mindy Project” with a bowl of your cold leftover ravioli on my lap, the one I said at six o’clock I wasn’t going to eat because it was too fattening, but at nine p.m. grazing and mindless was perfectly fine.
One thing lead to another and before I knew it…it was midnight, and I’d got nothing done.
…This morning was a doozy. Every single thing was battle.
Just wear your Superman underwear. Batman, fine. Fine! No, you didn’t go peepee already. No, you actually didn’t. No, oh yeah? When?
Child vs. child and child.
I love the movie “Sliding Doors” with Gwyneth Paltrow (see pictures of me from college, a good year and half with a really bad haircut inspired by her look).
It’s about split second choices. Courses set in action. A bad choice leading to more bad things. The birth of a funk. Blah, blah, blah.
It’s one thing to give yourself a break.
It’s another to self sabotage.
I went to yoga today and the teaching kept saying to focus.
Maybe I’ll try again tonight and tell myself that instead.