Thursday, September 26, 2013: The Universe is My Homeboy.

Dear Babies,

It’s not everyday you get told you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, so I pocketed the information. Granted this was in yoga class, and that’s a thing you’re inclined to hear in the presence of Buddha statues and lavender diffusers. Still, you are a child of the universe, know that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be…

Okay, so…stuck in the parking lot of school sweating my arse off in these black yoga pants? School ends and there we are a good hour later. Running, climbing, jumping, hiding. We bang on the windows and wave to the secretaries–an outdated term, I know, but these women in the church office are secretaries named Pat, trust me.

Come on, guys. Come on. Come on. Five more minutes. Five more minutes. I mean it, two minutes. Right now. I’m leaving. Bye. Bye. Bye. I’m going. Bye. You don’t care. They don’t care. They absolutely don’t care. Okay here comes the policeman. He’s going to be very upset when he sees you here alone. You’re not allowed to be here alone. You’re going to get in trouble. You don’t care. They don’t care. Okay, we’re going. Now. {Scoop up one child under the arm like a newspaper and drag the other by the arm, both squealing.}

Thanks, universe. You’ve picked me out something good.

…Because of our delay leaving school it was late. One o’clock already. Dammit, I’m not going to take them over to the mall and do errands now. They’re tired. They’re actually quite angry. We’ll never make it.

So, we went home…

…”Did you hear?” Nanny asked later on the phone.

Once again, the world implodes around us, but as far as we know Dora is trying to save the skateboard park.

dora is a rock star

“There was a shooting by Roosevelt Field Mall. The whole Garden City area was in lockdown while they were looking for the gunman. Your father was stuck at Nassau. He said it was bedlam…”

I didn’t tell her that I’d been planning on traipsing you guys into that very bedlam, but thankfully didn’t because we’d been stuck in the Bermuda Triangle of school.

Instead I thought, I guess I was in the right place.

Thank you, universe, I owe you one after all.



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