Tuesday, October 8, 2013: What?!

Dear Babies,

“Now rub your hands together with the soap underneath the…”

“The…”

“The, um…”

{?!}

{What the heck?}

{I’m losing my friggin’ mind!}

{What am I trying to say here?}

{Oh my god, why can’t I think of this ridiculously simple word?}

{Lotion!}

{No.}

“The, um, uh…”

…”I feel like I can’t talk to people anymore,” I said to your father Sunday night after a weekend spent with a lot of people, big for this ol’ hermit of yours.

What I didn’t say to him was, I feel like I’m all over the place, awkward, like I’m not making any sense...the verbal equivalent to Carrie’s jazz music in Homeland.

Anne Hathaway as Carrie

“Don’t overthink it,” he said. In other words yeah, you are awkward and don’t make sense, but it’s okay.

Is it the permanent distraction that is motherhood?

Is it lack of stimulation, i.e. contact with newspapers, culture, that terrible news?

Is it talk of poopie, peepee, nudey all day? Your teacher told me you pee a lot, Baby Girl, and I thought nothing of offering her, “so do I!,” bathroom talk so fresh on the mind.

(You’re welcome.)

Is it stress?

Anxiety?

A lot of balls up in the air? (You, one day: That’s what she said.)

The art of continually throwing paint on the wall and nothing sticking? (aka, writing)

…I just flew into a nail salon because I broke a toenail. Not a fingernail, some chipped polish. I limped in like a gorilla who had just stubbed his big toe in the mist. May (said her name-tag), took one look at it and  gasped “oh.”

Halfway through surgery I mean my pedicure, an instrumental version of Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven” came on. And I’m pretty sure, though not certain, that May began to cry. She was wearing a surgical paper mask over her face (how apropos) and underneath I heard sniffling. Her eyes were watering. She was rubbing her cheek with her shoulder. Was it allergies, or was “Tears in Heaven” triggering real tears?

She looked up and we made eye contact, and I gave her a sympathetic grin. One that said, it’s okay, if she’d been crying; or one that could’ve also said, I have allergies, too.

…Communications is actually something you can major in college. I know this, because I have a degree in (I’m sorry, the laughter, it hurts) communications.

We study it like a science but trust me, we have a long way to go.

…Water!

That was the word!

Love,

Mom

11 thoughts on “Tuesday, October 8, 2013: What?!

  1. Anne says:

    Amy, it is a disorder and I have it too. Ask your poor husband who I saw with Baby Boy at the supermarket Sunday. I constantly feel discombobulated. 😉 We may not have any clue what’s going on in the government shut down, but the upside is if you are at the playground, no one will bat an eye. 😉

    • amydenby says:

      Ha! Mike said he saw you but said nothing about discombobulation (word?), probably because he’s used to it 😉 I had no idea about the government shutdown. Yup. Just put that in writing. (“The United States of America is closed? What?!”)

      • Anne says:

        Lol, dying laughing. Yes, the government is closed, I have no idea for how long it’s been and I could care less. In my hr off today- a.k.a. nap time, the Today show was talking about it. I fast foreworded the whole thing to get to the weather and then a segment on expired food having a longer shelf life. I just admitted that in real life didn’t I? Thanks for the laughs!!!! You’re too funny. The babies just fell asleep and it’s 10 pm.?!!!???? In our defense(of mothers esp of toddlers) there is a reason we can’t formulate thoughts. 😉 xo

      • amydenby says:

        Food having a longer shelf life, what?! I actually welcome those expired dates as a reason to get rid of the jars of old crap in the fridge I’d otherwise feel guilty throwing out, wasting that smidge

  2. asmith864 says:

    I feel you. I sometimes worry that maybe I should go see my doctor to check for early dementia. It’s something even post-it notes can’t cure. And I also feel like I have nothing to talk about with anyone else. That would require having a social life outside of hanging with my 2 year old. 🙂

  3. Winding road says:

    I’ve had those super awkward moments too, especially when it’s been a while since being “out” with friends. I’ll have a couple glasses of wine to loosen up but then an awkward diarrhea of nonsense is unleashed and I forget my point. We should hang out sometime, I bet we’d really “get” eachother 😉

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s