It was like Mr. Clean stubbing his toenail. This big guy, grunting every expletive in the book through clenched teeth.
Granted, I can imagine. I have hair to somewhat cushion a blow and yet it still hurts when I bang my head against something. So to see that Mr. Clean-like delivery man whack his melon, as bald as a bowling ball, into the doorway of his UPS truck, hard, man, it must have hurt.
*#@^&* #&*&$#-ing @###!!!!!!!!!
And every other expletive I clearly heard door.
That was me yesterday, I thought, clearly frustrated by…everything.
And yet I dropped my head continuing the walk to my car, snickering. Laughing about how silly it was to be so angry at a door…
…These branches were enormous.
I can’t imagine what anyone would be doing with giant faux red branches like this. Is she decorating a cathedral? Building Noah’s Arc? Fulfilling my lifelong dream of finding a mother and baby brontosaurus in Africa and protecting them from hunters (at least ever since I saw the movie “Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend” in 1985)?
Yet, there she was, skipping out of Home Goods, giddy over her find.
Suddenly, everything there seemed ridiculous. She just paid money for giant red branches?! Look at this person, contemplating a glittery life-size sleigh. What is she going to with a glittery life-size sleigh? Hey! Did you see my glittery life-size sleigh?! Of course I did! Nasa scientists in space can see it!
How often am I one of those people, babies. Giddy over my ridiculous finds. (See also, birdcage in the bathroom.)
Yet, there I was, in Home Goods, one of my favorite places, snickering…
Remember to get out of yourselves, babies. Every once in awhile take a look at things from the other side.